The Unexpected Gift

DeSean Jackson, a professional football player, injected more hate into an already tense time in our country. He posted anti-semitic messages on his Instagram which sparked national outrage.

Jackson’s anti-semitic messaging was thoughtless and disappointing. ESPN sports writer Kevin Seifert said, “His posts were dangerously uninformed.” Jackson seemed to display ignorance about anti-semitism, which was heightened after he chose to venture to dark places on the internet for his answers. Jackson in his attempt “to amplify what he interpreted as Black subjugation,” unknowingly elevated a quote wrongly attributed to Adolf Hitler.

Once he was made aware of his error, he publicly apologized, made a financial contribution to the Jewish community, and promised to learn and grow from his mishap. Jackson, while feeling pain, showed ignorance towards Jewish lives, a type of mistake commonly made when we react without full information on a subject or its creator. But, there is no room for more hate. His words hurt many people. It was disgraceful to the Jewish community and upsetting for the Black community too. Uninformed people lessen our credibility as a country. It sets us all back.

I felt better and hopeful when I heard that Julian Edelman, a Jewish football player, offered to build a bridge with Jackson to learn more about each other’s community. Jackson accepted and committed to learn. Edelman said, “I don’t want to distract from how important the Black Lives Matter movement is, and how we need to stay behind it. I think the Black and Jewish communities have a lot of similarities.” Both of these young men recognized the rare opportunity to grow and learn in this moment. Someone had to rise above it and be a model for others battling hate. This is how we heal a nation.

Then, my world was shaken a bit. A uniting moment between two athletes reflected something else in my home.

I saw a humble plea that my son had posted on his Instagram story. He, too, condemned Jackson’s actions. My son has many friends he cares about in the Jewish community. But, he had mentioned to me several times last month that he was disappointed his friends appeared silent when innocent Black lives were being taken, and while the Black Lives Matter movement started to receive more attention. We talked about the reasons kids might not speak out; it’s risky on many fronts. It’s difficult to be fully prepared for moments of tension. Some only feel confident and comfortable voicing what they personally know. My son’s Jewish friends started publicly bashing Jackson for his error, making unpleasant statements about a Black man, a group in which my son identifies. He agreed with the hurt and anger they felt towards Jackson’s reckless postings. But, he was also disappointed that most of his friends were silent while the nation called for action to support the Black cause weeks prior. He felt as though they chose to use their voices for the first time to condemn this Black man instead.

My son is a kind, quiet spirit — a gift to my family. He shows no hate towards anyone. He’s always happy and smiling. I’ve never seen him angry or heard him raise his voice. He’s calm. He rarely speaks up about issues. Peace is his priority and because he knows most people cannot exercise the same restraint, he often finds it easier to say nothing. He understands the complicated school environment he’s in; it’s tough to win when you are the only Black voice in the group. He chooses his battles wisely and moves on from the day-to-day conflicts easily. But, this moment must have been different for him.

He wrote in a post:

“…about the DeSean Jackson issue, it’s interesting to see those of you who have spoken out about anti-semitism, yet remained quiet about racism and the BLM movement. Let me say this first though, what DeSean Jackson said should be condemned and fround upon to the highest degree, but if you are speaking out against ONLY anti-semitism, you are part of the problem. You should not only speak out where your people are being targeted, but where other people are as well. You should speak out against ALL of the injustices in America, whether they affect you right now or not. Because as time goes on, you’re gonna think you don’t need to support a cause that doesn’t affect you, until it does and it’s too late.”

He added the following quote, a popular one he saw while visiting the Holocaust Musuem a few years ago.

First they came for the socialists,

and I did not speak out because

I wasn’t a socialist.

Then they came for trade unionists,

and I did not speak out because

I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I did not speak out because

I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me,

and there was no one left to speak for me.

— Pastor Martin Niemoller

That’s my son. That tiny voice in a sea of others, but alone, trying to be heard. I am so proud of him for finding the courage to say something potentially explosive, maybe adding more fuel to fire. His intent was not to hurt anyone, he just wanted to give some “food for thought;” but, he felt his Jewish friends were intentionally specific about what they chose to speak up about. Recently I felt regret; I was concerned I may have put him in the wrong school environment, subjecting him to hate that was out of his control. But, as I’ve reflected on his words and his actions, I’m comforted now. His example solidly confirmed that he was not going to be a punching bag and that he has what it takes to survive. He stood up when it counted.

He received two messages in response to his post. One was from a Black student who warned him of the potential risks in getting involved in the conflict. The other was from a Muslim friend in solidarity. Everyone else who saw his post was silent. We talked about what the silence may mean: consent, anger, guilt, shame, ignorance, fear, or some sort of combination of it all. We may never know, but it would be nice to understand. The fact that no one publicly pushed back might mean that there was nothing more to be said, though. His point was simple, “Please stop fighting hate with hate.”

People don’t think about the children enough. Hate against humans is a regular occurrence for them as well. Kids are innocently trying to sort it all out, feeling inside that something is wrong, looking for answers and support from their peers. They see the hypocrisy of many adults, but have no power to address it themselves. We have failed not teaching our children more about all forms of oppression. Lessons on these subjects are lessons on humanity; they are not just about our own selves.

Instead of focusing completely on Jackson’s error, I hope we can appreciate this gift of mutual understanding we’ve been given. We need to replicate this exchange of forgiveness and growth so that we do not leave anyone out on a limb. It’s a lonely place out there fighting hate. We can beat it if we fight it together.